How to go hero to zero in 30 seconds. I hired a large van for a week. From a company that had done a good job for me in the past. I had a lot of confidence in their offer. Fine their location had changed. Once the company was in Redhill in Surrey. The office was easy walking distance from my house. Now, they have an office in the small town of Dorking. So, it’s a short train ride away.
The Surrey towns of Reigate and Dorking are separated by about 8 miles. They both sit under the North Downs. The main A25 road links the two towns and probably has done for centuries. Without delays that’s about 20 minutes door to door. Normally.
Moving house is one of the most stressful events in life. That’s what we are currently about. It’s a move further West. It’s a move to take us away from the dreadful mess that the M25 motorway has become in the last couple of decades. From 3 lanes to 4 lanes, it’s got worse not better. Why do we think we can build our way out of traffic jams?
So, for the last week I’ve been driving a large van backwards and forwards from Reigate to Newbury. The hired van was everything I needed. Only about 7000 miles on the clock and plenty of space. If I had one niggle it was the need for a reversing camera. Beepers are just not enough.
The rental company, named after a famous starship, that went where no man has gone before, was topping my hero list. What I needed when I needed it and at a good price. With only a minor inconvenience when picking-up and dropping-off. Or, so I though.
Named storms are popular this year. Driving through one of them is no fun. Traffic slows and the inevitable bump or blown down tree holds everyone up. Nothing moves the way it does on a sunny day. It’s times like these when planning can be more guess work than science. Whatever a satnav calculates.
In my wisdom I thought – let’s try a cross country route home. Get off the habit of using the M4 and M25 motorways. Programmed the satnav and away I went. Leaving Newbury lunchtime thinking that getting the van back to the rental company by 5pm would be no sweat.
My route took me from Newbury to Basingstoke and then to the M3 motorway. Then towards London and coming off the motorway to take the Blackwater valley route to the Hogs Back. Those references are for Surrey residents because they will know what I’m talking about. Trundling along the Hogs Back I then hit the main A3 into Guildford. Now, my logic went like this. I’ll avoid the Wisley junction reconstruction or permanent hold-up by taking the main A25 all the way back to Reigate. So, I did. All going well until I reached the closure of that main road[1]. At that point I was committed to getting back to Reigate to unload my packing boxes. Can’t carry them on the train.
When road closures happen in Surrey, at rush hour the mess is insane. The diversion I took up over the North Downs and back down again onto the A217 road was miserably slow. What’s worse is that I knew I had to turn around and go back to Dorking to return the rental van. The clock was ticking.
Anyway, enduring the tedious frustration of doing a short journey, by miles, over a long time wore away at my generally cheerful disposition. Thus, I was glad to get back to the rental company office in Dorking only about 20 minutes late, after 5pm.
I was committed to leaving the van and taking the train home. That trading estate rental office closes at 5pm. A dark and empty parking space was free, but nowhere could I see anywhere to drop the van’s keys? It seems inconceivable to me that an international rental company would not have a key drop. I searched the plot. There was nowhere. All there was an unhelpful notice on the door of the company’s office. So, I locked the van, kept the keys, and walked to the train station. Idea being to return the keys as soon as the office reopened next morning. Seemed logical.
Next morning, I got up early and set off for Dorking. Sadly, the closure of the A25 was still an on-going problem. All the rush hour traffic had the same issue to contend with on their way to work. This is why I’m happy to be leaving Surrey. A short journey turns into a tedious trek at the drop of a hat. The county’s roads are unable to cope with the levels of traffic. But, as planned I get to the Dorking office of the rental company at 8am when the office opened. Enterprise were still in my hero category as the van was inspected and the mileage typed into a company handheld device. I would have given them 10 out of 10. Job done.
In the warm, in the rental office, just as I thought the paperwork had been done – hold on a moment it’s charging you an extra day for a late return. Computers do these sorts of things. They have no awareness of the world other than the numbers they crunch. Unthinking beasts.
I’ll have a word with my manager. Those were the words spoken. Me being me, I though that’ll be no problem given the effort I’ve made to return the keys. Let’s face it if there was a drop box last night they would be doing exactly as they are now. Van returned in 100% condition and keys in hand.
Then to my surprise the office manager, who insisted on using my first name, says no we are going to have to change you for an extra day. In 30 seconds, Enterprise went from being my number one van rental choice to a huge bottomless zero. I argued the logic of my position and the unforeseen local conditions that prevailed. I outlined the best efforts that I’d made.
Then I got the most galling response – it’s company policy. I suggested that the office manager might use a little judgement or digression in this case. I hit nothing but a stone wall. The computer says so. The charge is the charge. No deviation possible. It’s astonishing that an office manager can’t make a reasonable judgement. If that’s Enterprise company policy I don’t want that kind of service. Other companies are available.
What didn’t help either was the prospect of the return journey in my car knowing that the main Reigate Road was closed. As per my prediction the short journey home again was awful.
Hero to zero – Enterprise. Hero to zero in 30-seconds. My future business will go elsewhere.
POST: This quote from the Enterprise website is meaningless. “We understand that things don’t always go to plan so, if you are running a few minutes late we won’t charge you for an extra day, we give you a grace period of up to 29 minutes to cover unforeseen delays“.
Part 2.
Change is always welcome. The above rental made me think twice about using the services of Enterprise. In my new town, they have a much more easy to get to office. It’s a 20 minute walk from the house. So, I ate my pride and booked a big van for a couple of days. The job was much the same as before. It’s all part of a house move that is lasting far too long.
Here I am renting from Enterprise Rent-A-Car once more. This time I’ll drop the label “zero”. From picking up the van to dropping it off everything worked as it should. My large commercial van took a heavy book case and a king sized bed from Reigate to Newbury without a hitch.
[1] https://www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/surrey-news/live-a25-traffic-updates-after-28495765


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